Delayed, or retarded, ejaculation means you can’t reach orgasm easily during sex or masturbation.

This may happen with only one particular sexual partner or it may happen with every partner; it may happen occasionally or it may happen all the time; and it may happen when you masturbate, or when you have sex, or both.

You may wonder what the heck is going on. You may be resigned to the situation.

If you’re  man who has difficulty reaching orgasm during sex,  you might be surprised to find that you’re not alone – far from it, in fact.

Problems with male ejaculation are much more common than people imagine. At any time, more than one man in twelve will be experiencing delayed ejaculation!

This means that millions of men around the world have difficulty reaching orgasm or ejaculating during sex – for example, about 8 million men in the USA alone will have problems reaching orgasm during sex.

And very few of these men – less than one in a hundred – will seek help.

In a way, that’s not surprising. Not being able to ejaculate during sex (or masturbation), or only being able to ejaculate occasionally, or with great difficulty, might seem like a strange problem to many people, especially when so many men have difficulty stopping their ejaculation from occurring too soon.

So let’s think about sex for a minute, about all the things we men are supposed to achieve during sex.

We’re expected to initiate and lead during lovemaking, we’re supposed to know how to make sex good for both ourselves and our partners, we’re expected to hold back on our own pleasure and delay our ejaculation until our partner is satisfied, and lots more besides…. but what a pain in the ass some of this can be!

With all those expectations, there’s no surprise men develop ejaculation problems. If only you could just let go and please yourself without having to worry about a partner, it might even be possible to reach orgasm and ejaculate when you choose to!

Delayed Ejaculation Is A Common Sexual Problem Among Men

Until recently, delayed ejaculation hasn’t been very well known and it’s certainly not received much attention, despite the trouble it can cause.

Amazing, isn’t it? In fact, delayed ejaculation is the third most common sexual problem for men after premature ejaculation and erection problems.

If only you could just let go and please yourself without having to worry about a partner, it might even be possible to reach orgasm and ejaculate when you choose to!

Even if you accept things the way they are, you might feel  depressed, or angry, or anxious, or some other negative feeling about what’s going on for you right now.

And while you probably know that delayed ejaculation can adversely affect your relationship and hit your self-esteem, you probably don’t know what to do about it. You may not even know that a cure is available. 

What’s more, if your partner has started to express her feelings about your delay in reaching orgasm, you’re probably feeling under even more pressure – especially if she’s accusing you of not being attracted to her.

Whatever she’s saying, your partner’s probably talking from an emotional place: one of disappointment, frustration, or even anger.

And that means she’s missing the fact that men with ejaculation problems are among the most conscientious of lovers and generally really care about the fact that they cannot reach orgasm during sex with their partner….. and usually not for the want of trying, either…. as you most likely know only too well!

And although it causes lots of challenges for men in so many ways, it’s hardly mentioned by anyone. I mean, when was the last time you discussed this with a buddy?

What you really need to know right now is that no matter what your difficulty reaching orgasm,this problem is normal!

 

By the way, ‘normal’ means you get to choose when to ejaculate during your lovemaking.

And here’s the best thing: based on feedback from men who buy my treatment program, it has an amazing 96% success rate.

But What On Earth Causes These Problems?

Let’s back up a bit here before we go any further.

Delayed ejaculation happens for many reasons…..

First, not ejaculating during sex can be something you learned earlier in life.

Not that you ever had any actual lessons in this… it’s just one way for your body and mind to protect themselves after a bad experience.

So, if something went wrong during sex sometime, the experience may have left its mark as your difficulty with ejaculation. Perhaps you lost your erection, your partner shamed you in some way, you just felt hopelessly inadequate…. whatever…. but next time you had sex, maybe you found it didn’t work.

Maybe there was no erection. No desire. No ‘connection’ with sex. No ejaculation. Who knows?

And of course, when that lack of desire/erection/ejaculation has happened once, it can happen again and again and again, and before you know it – there’s not an ejaculation in sight!

But fortunately, when delayed ejaculation develops after this kind of experience, it’s easy to cure.

Sometimes things from further back, in childhood, can cause sexual problems later in life. A boy’s relationship with his mother is right at the top of that list! if she’s not accepting of his developing sexuality, or worse, things can go wrong.

Happily, with the right approach you can flush these things out of your system for ever.

Next, delayed ejaculation can have a lot to do with the way a boy learns to masturbate.

Some boys masturbate quickly and secretively, usually because they either feel guilty, or because they can’t get much privacy, or they’re concerned about someone watching or even interrupting them during their self-pleasuring.

Of course, masturbation is simply that: self-pleasuring. Just as sex should be….at least some of the time. Some of the time it’s about pleasing another person.

In situations like this, masturbation can become quick and secretive, so much so that oftentimes a teenager won’t even touch his penis. Instead, he’ll masturbate by thrusting his penis against the mattress.

Problem is, this kind of harsh masturbation technique desensitizes the body’s response to sexual stimulation.

So, as a man, he needs to use much more force and pressure to get himself to the point of ejaculation than if he’d masturbated more gently when he was a boy.

And the harsh grip and fast movement are what his penis will then respond to…. in other words, he will have trouble ejaculating if he does not receive similar stimulation in the future.

But during sex, the sensations of intercourse aren’t anywhere near forceful enough to produce the stimulation the man needs to get to ‘the point of no return’ – that’s the level of sexual arousal where ejaculation is inevitable.

Think of it as the point where you know you’re going to come, and nothing will stop it happening. As a man with delayed ejaculation, you may not be too familiar with this….

To summarize: if you need very hard or prolonged stimulation before you can ejaculate, normal sexual intercourse won’t do it for you.

Next – the problem of low sexual arousal.

Most men with delayed ejaculation get an erection very quickly – and it’s often a long-lasting, hard erection. Yet although they appear to be aroused and sexually excited, appearances can be deceptive.

Believe it or not, this erection, no matter how long-lasting, does not necessarily mean that a man’s aroused enough to enjoy intercourse or to arrive at the point of ejaculation.

I know that may seem hard to believe.

After all, having an erection surely means a man is ready, willing and able to have sex?

Oddly, no, it doesn’t….. because even though you can have an erection hard enough for sex, you may not be sufficiently aroused in mind and body to reach the point of ejaculation.

In short, if you’re experiencing delayed ejaculation, the chances are that you need some simple techniques to increase your level of sexual arousal so that you find sex more exciting.

That way, you can gradually develop more and more arousal as sex goes on, and at a certain point you’ll be aroused enough to ejaculate easily – and very enjoyably!

Relationship Issues Have A Role To Play

Relationship issues – how you get on with your partner – can be a major factor in delayed ejaculation.

As proof of this, look no further than the fact that a man with delayed ejaculation can often come quicker and easier with a woman who’s not his partner, someone outside his main relationship.

So is a low level of sexual arousal the result of a lack of attraction to a partner? Or is it the other way around? How would you know? Difficult, isn’t it? Certainly, a lack of sexual attraction can be the result of a poor sexual relationship.

Simple truth is, there are many ways you can make your relationship more rewarding and closer: it’s all about becoming more intimate, communicating more, and understanding each other better.

As you work on delayed ejaculation, you may uncover some unpleasant truths. (Like: how do you really feel about your partner?)

Maybe the status quo will be overturned. But is that such a bad thing? Keeping your relationship real is better for everyone, both short and long term.

Naturally, you also need to look at your sexual desires and drives, and explore the ways you can improve the quality of sex…… and what you can do, for example, to feel more connected and intimate with your partner.